Guys, guys, guys!!!

I'm happy. Genuinely happy.

I swore I learned from the last one so I'm being extra careful to not make the same mistake. And it's working :) granted the situations are different....but it's working all the same. It frightens a bit. Especially if people try and give shit for this. That'll just piss me off because it's not fair.
"Every sinner has a future and every saint has a past"

My past doesn't define me. It's shaped me. I'm smarter now.

So I'm continuing with my not waiting and being happy.

Update complete :)

I said I wasn't going to wait forever.

So with so much apparently left unsaid... how am I the one making a mistake?

Actions speak louder than words?

Heh. Yeah. Your actions told me everything you felt loud and clear. You never had to say it.
I already knew.

But whatever.

My rant is done.

Maye future selves can work out this shit we've created.

Who knows.

Until then. Imma be happy.

I can't hold on and wait forever.

If you're not coming back, shouldn't I move on?
That's what you wanted right?

Why do we do this to one another?

We're not going to be together. You said so yourself.
Why must we find ways to indirectly hurt one another in our own twisted way?
I fucking hate this.
But change won't happen unless we fucking commit to something.
Otherwise we're just proving the point that some things never change.
I'm tired of this.
But like I've said.
I 1. Won't ask you to stay if you don't want to
And 2. I'm not fighting someone who's gonna fight me every step of the way.
I just can't. Even if I feel very strongly about them.
Two stubborn people.
There only needs to be one, so okay.
I drop out of the game.
I'll figure this out when you're good and ready.


latenightventing. Sorry.

We play a really nice game of pretend.

A Passing Thought

There are nights like these
When I remember all
that we wanted to be.

I think of the words
That went unheard
And all the times I've tried.

Yet, my mouth mirrored
My heart and said
"Keep closed you must"
So maybe we're better off dead.

I sat here alone,
Played a song in my ears
And I realized it's okay if you never hear.

I wanted to miss you,
But there lies the issue,
I shouldn't miss what doesn't
Want to be remembered.

A passing thought
Is all that we've got
Too much to say,
Too little, too late.

No I am not bitter
I'll just think of that night in November
Where everything fell into place.

La dee da.
I wanted to write a poem, but it kinda failed. I'm leaving it though.

Advice I needed...

So simple but hard to actually do...

However, it was...

"Stop caring about shit that doesn't care about you"

It's hard, but I can do it.

Growing tired of this.

I guess some things never change.
Whatever.

So sometimes...

I'll just sit here and think about myself, and how I've turned out.

But right now..I'm sitting here about to turn 18 and I'm thinking about all that has happened in the past year.
I didn't think I would be any different, but so much has happened and I feel that I am.
I've lost a lot of very important/close people...and well...as much as it sucks..
Things happen, people change, people grow.

I'm going into this new month, this new year of life, and just this renewal of sorts.

I want to renew what I've lost. Renew who I've lost.
I don't just mean with Adam, because well... I haven't much hope there at the moment...
But I'm not fighting with him anymore.

I want to renew myself really. That's who I've really lost through this whole ordeal called life..
Along this past year..maybe years? (it coulda been a long time coming) ...
I don't even know what I'm saying.
I've just realized so much time has been wasted on pointless....everything.
I'm ready to just go back to normal.
This doesn't matter too much anymore.
This SHOULDN'T matter too much anymore.
Hmmm....
Okay. I'm going to renew myself and be the me I know me to be.
As for anything else, well...only time will tell.